Speaking to a pregnant woman

Things you should never say to a pregnant lady:

• "Oh, you look big, you look as big as (insert some comparison that is not flattering)."

I was compared to a woman who gave birth two days before the statement was made. I still have three months. I would assume that you also would not say "Oh, you look small" or any other comments on size. We get it: we look different. We are aware of that.

• "I wouldn't want to bring a child into this world."

How can anyone interpret this statement in a positive way? Listen, the world hasn't changed. The same shit is happening only on an adjusted scale. And I'm sure someone made the same statement to you when you were pregnant in that "oh so joyful time" that you have nostalgized to become oh so joyful. Like a sympathetic friend said: "at least the Holocaust isn't happening." True dat. Also: I'm not going to abort my baby because I think the world is bad. I chose to carry this blessing.

• "Let me look at you from the side. Turn around."

This is another size issue. I'm not a piece of meat. Your insistence to observe me is only so you can make further comments about my size. Can't you just wait until I turn to the side instead of requesting that I do so? I move frequently so there's bound to be a time when you will see me from the side. You can observe at that point with the addition of refraining from comments so I don't have to hear how big/small/cute/whatever I look like. I'm well aware. I live with it.

Things you should say to a pregnant lady:

• "You look great!" and other positive comments


• Anything non-pregnancy related. "How about that local sports team?" "Did you read the latest article on blah blah?" "What are your thoughts on blah blah?"


• Talk about yourself and the exciting events happening in your life.


• Positive questions about the pregnancy like "When are you due?" "Is it a boy/girl?" "Do you have any names?"

Some women may not enjoy answering the last couple of questions but I have no problem with it. It shows that the person is interested in your pregnancy without making further comments that are negative.

Also: if you ask a pregnant lady what she has chosen as a birthing plan (hospital vs. midwife, medication vs. no medication, etc.) and she says something you don't agree with, don't argue, make negative comments, or generally give the impression that you don't agree with the plan. Her body, her baby, her choice. Unless she is telling you she is taking drugs, smoking, drinking heavily, and bungee jumping, whatever she chooses is comfortable for her. FOR HER! Who gives a holy Hell what you want to do? Now, if she says "what do you plan on doing?" simply tell her what you plan and you can see how the conversation will develop from there.

Speaking to pregnant ladies is easy. It's almost like having a conversation with a regular person in that you consider their thoughts and feelings when you have the conversation. Shocking?

Pic of the day: